You might be German if...

Okay, I'm sure there will be additions to this list, but I just couldn't wait any longer to share some of the little Germanisms (or at least Berlinisms) that I've noticed, and also the Americanisms that stand in contrast to them. All of these things come from my own personal experience and observation. Enjoy!

You might be German (or at least a Berliner) if:
-You can't drink water unless it's carbonated.
-You pay more for your beverage than for your food.
-By American standards, you are perpetually dehydrated.
-You put butter on your sandwich.
-Salad doesn't have to have lettuce to be a salad.
-Ketchup packets cost 15 cents.
-You see by far more ads for Coca-Cola than for anything else... except maybe political candidates.
-The "walk" and "don't walk" characters on stoplights are trendy.
-You drive a Smart-Car.
-You're a guy who wears man-capris or has a "feaux-hawk"
-You're a woman and you're either 6 feet tall or know at least 3 women who are.
-You wear your wedding ring on your right hand.
-"How are you?" is not just a polite thing to say - it is a question which demands a detailed, truthful answer. When an American asks you this, you just say, "Thanks."
-If the stoplight says "don't walk" but there are no cars in sight, you still wait for the light to change. You could lose your driver's license if you didn't.
-Almost everything is closed after 8pm.
-You have to pay for a plastic bag to put your groceries in.
-You sort your trash into at least three categories.
-You only turn the water on in the shower when you need to rinse.
-At the movies, you have a choice between sweet popcorn and salty popcorn.
-You always wear trendy sneaker-type shoes but you never wear athletic tennis shoes unless you're jogging.
-You tend to dress warmer than the weather--scarves in September, for example.
-You don't wear flip-flops in September, regardless of the temperature.
-You sunbathe naked in the forest. (Yes, I've seen this! unfortunately...)

You might be an American in Germany if:
-You think water should be free.
-You put ice in your beverages.
-You are perpetually dehydrated, or else broke from paying for beverages.
-You've only eaten döner once.
-You would be wearing flip-flops for at least another month, but you don't want to stick out as an American.
-Germans are amazed that you can speak German, though it's nothing to them that they can all speak English.
-When you do speak or write in English, you try to put all the verbs at the end.
-You're fascinated by the variety of Haribo candies.
-You wear athletic tennis shoes regularly. Maybe they identify you as an American, but comfort is worth it.
-You enjoy not having to ask them not to put mayonaise on your sandwich.
-You're wondering where all the SUV's are.
-You ask the cashier at the cafeteria for a recipe instead of a receipt because you got the German words confused. (Yep, I did that.)
-You've been asked, "Is it true that in the US, you have to pay for college? How in the world do you afford such a thing?"
-You were warned not to get arrested for stealing ketchup packets.
-You're missing Mexican food, barbecue sauce and cheddar cheese right now.
-Peanut butter is a staple. You'll find it somewhere.
-You say things like, "Danglish rockt meine Welt."
-You're still thirsty.

Some "rough translations" (as in, what German things play the same role as certain American things):
peanut butter = Nutella
white bread = "schwarzbrot" (literally black bread, very rye-tasting and grainy)
sausage of all kinds = cold cuts of any kind (especially turkey)
peanuts (in candy) = hazelnuts
cookies 'n' creme ice cream = stracciatella (creamy with little chocolate specks)
butter = mayonaise (on a sandwich)
a Philly cheese steak (a staple/guilty indulgence) = döner
Mexican food and Chinese food (Indian too in the north) = Turkish food, Asian food and Indian food (most common international foods)
soft rolls = hard rolls
peanut butter as a flavor = hazelnut
Cheetos = peanut "flips"... same shape as cheetos but a little smaller, and yes, they're peanut-flavored... sounds weird, but they're dangerously addicting
lettuce and/or pickles on a sandwich = cucumber slices on a sandwich